Did you know that here and now you are your own first priority?
We each have twenty four hours in a day and can make choices about how to live them. We become involved in the daily routine of producing, reaching deadlines or caring for family /friends. In between all of this, caring for oneself, relaxing and renewing can get lost.
But here's the good news. There is an immediate response to looking after oneself. We feel good in the moment and for the next few days.
Why not choose something that you can do right here and now to take care of yourself, something that doesn't require much planning or buying items. Put your choice on a piece of paper and display it in a place where you'll see it, for example, the side of a mirror, on the fridge door, in your car or on the side of your desk. If you feel it needs modification as the days go by then feel free to modify. This is to help you remember that you are your own first priority. How can we truly care for others if we are not caring for ourselves? Now please understand, I am not promoting a narcissistic approach here but a grounded self appreciation.
Do appreciate yourself, why not? Be kind to yourself but also ask yourself the tough questions.
For example, is what I'm doing right now in my best interest or in the best interest of others? Is there any way it can be in the best interest of both? What would that take?
Am I establishing healthy emotional boundaries or am I surrounding myself with protective barriers to the point of self isolation?
What does a healthy emotional boundary look like for you right now taking cognisance of your present circumstances? Describe it in detail, bringing in the sounds you hear and the feelings you feel.
Here are my gentle reminders.
Ask for help when you need it .
Be willing to say ‘I don't know’.
Notice how often you say ‘Hurry up' to yourself or someone else.
In a stressful situation, ask yourself what is the most important thing right now?
Lie on the couch for several minutes, do not listen to music, read, talk on the phone or sleep. Just be there.
Maybe begin journaling some of your thoughts on the above questions as you work out how you can use your twenty four hours in the day. Be gentle and kind to yourself. You are doing your best.
Take several long slow breaths particularly when you are in a hurry and yes as I have advised before, put the kettle on and enjoy a quiet moment!
Take care,
Regina O’Roarke.