We all know how hard it is to forgive and let go. Sometimes our hurts are so deep the best we can do is try to live with what has happened in our lives.
So why take time to look at “forgiveness” in this blog?
Anger, jealousy, resentment and the desire for revenge can waste valuable energy that could be directed elsewhere. Over time, these toxic feelings can affect our physical health and mental well-being. Some would say that we attract more of whatever we feel we are experiencing, so being negative, unforgiving and angry may attract more of the same into our life. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, but it is interesting to have a look at the pattern of our emotions.
Challenging events occur in everyone's life. We all make mistakes. We can all misread situations. We can all regret our response to events, but ultimately this is how we learn. We learn from these mistakes, we learn about impulsive reactions, we learn to consider options before making decisions. This is life. It is ok to make mistakes provided we are learning from these events.
Ultimately time is a healer. Healing can only occur though when we are ready. Many of us can get stuck in events in our life and find it extremely difficult to let go, so allow me to put this idea forward to you for your consideration. To forgive is to move forward in your life. To forgive is to bring mental peace to your mind. To forgive is to allow our internal organs to function in harmony. Stress, strain and anxiety takes its toll on our body. One way of looking at not forgiving is to ask oneself the question, How is this contributing to my life, to my well-being and to my health?
Forgiveness is a state of mind, forgiveness is a personal mental decision. There are many events that we will never forget, they will form part of our memories and part of our story. Over time it may be possible to forgive and forget. But my hope is that past events do not consume our present and future events, that somehow we can break that link. Forgiveness appears to be a very strong key in creating movement from past hurts. Forgiveness releases our connection to that event or person, this in turn gives us mental freedom and space to create the life, friendships and surroundings that we truly deserve.
Past hurts can eat away and prevent us from focusing our full attention on our present life and the future life we want to create. Learning from past hurts can help us avoid events like that happening again. We can begin to develop our intuition as a result of past experiences. Negative self talk and bitter recriminations begin to subside. In many ways the word forgive really means to give it up for yourself for your well-being and for your health.
Perhaps consider some of the steps below:
Acknowledge the anger and hurt.
Acknowledge the pain created.
Own any part played in letting it occur or letting it continue ( If applicable).
If possible try to understand where the other person was coming from at that time and what needs that person was trying to meet.
Begin the process of forward movement through recognition of the above, releasing yourself from past hurts. Remember reflective journaling is wonderful for this.
Forgiveness affirmation: I release myself from past hurts and allow myself to be free.
I wish you the best of luck with this process.